The World's Blog
by Sunfire7845
Summary: America's boss has asked America to start a blog for the world to post in. Read posts, IMs, and personal blogs by all your favourite Hetalia characters! Some yaoi implicated. Rated T to be safe.
1. Chapter 1

**_A/N- Hello everyone! XxDarkangelx here again with another new story! This story is based off a suggestion my friend had one night: What if the Hetalia characters started a blog? It's going to be mostly crack, and won't really follow the storyline (if the manga even had a storyline in the first place) except maybe for some special events... like Halloween or Christmas? And if there's a blog story out there already, I'll try not to copy the other story's ideas. (But truth be said, I haven't come across any yet, so yeah...^^;; )_**

**_I hope you enjoy the story!_**

* * *

><p><strong>Subject: Welcome to the blog!<strong>

So yeah, this blog thing my boss told me to set up is totally cool! I can post all kinds of stuff here and everybody else can post their own stuff up here too! I'm really looking forward to seeing how the others use this blog!

P.S. Hungary, my boss you were not allowed to post all those... 'yaoi' pictures.

**Posted by: America**

* * *

><p><strong>Subject: BOW DOWN TO MY AWESOMENESS, BLOG!<strong>

Sweet, a blog! I shall now proceed to fill it up with all my awesome posts!

Great idea your boss had there, America!

**Posted by: Prussia**

* * *

><p><strong>Subject: WHAT THE HELL<strong>

My name is not a spelling error, godamnit!

**Posted by: Prussia**

* * *

><p><strong>Subject: BROTHER<strong>

Don't you have better things to do than sit at the computer the whole day blogging about yourself? Like, walking the dogs, for instance?

**Posted by: Germany**

* * *

><p><strong>Subject: WEST<strong>

Wow, you sure caught on fast with this blog thing! I didn't even know you knew what was a 'blog'!

And if I'm using your laptop, what are _you_ using to post all these unawesome posts?

….stupid spell-check, unawesome IS a word.

P.S. Go walk your own dogs. I'm busy here.

**Posted by: Prussia**

* * *

><p><strong>Subject: Prussia<strong>

You promised to walk your brother's dogs for this whole week because you lost that bet.

You know what I'm talking about.

**Posted by: Austria**

* * *

><p><strong>Subject: ASSHOLE<strong>

Stop disturbing the awesome me everywhere I go with those snide remarks. Can't the awesome me take a much needed break from you, even in cyberspace?

**Posted by: Prussia**

* * *

><p><strong>Subject: Be more polite.<strong>

Brother, this is a public blog... everyone can see your posts. Don't embarrass yourself so much. Or is it too late for that already...?

And as for your question earlier, I'm using my mobile to type all these. That doesn't mean you can keep my laptop. I'm confiscating it when I get home.

**Posted by: Germany**

* * *

><p><strong>Subject: The whole world is against my awesomeness. Including the f***ing spell-check.<strong>

As everyone can clearly see by the above posts.

**Posted by: Prussia**

* * *

><p><strong>Subject: Cheer up!<strong>

You can come over to my house if you want! I can call France over too! Then we can all hang out together and have some fun! :D

**Posted by: Spain**

* * *

><p><strong>Subject: NO, SPAIN.<strong>

My brother is not going anywhere until he has kept his promise by walking the dogs.

**Posted by: Germany**

* * *

><p><strong>Subject: Why hello~<strong>

I think I heard my name being called~?

**Posted by: France**

* * *

><p><strong>Subject: Hmph.<strong>

You mean, Spain typed your name out. No one called you.

**Posted by: Austria**

* * *

><p><strong>Subject: Gak.<strong>

I'm constantly being surrounded by those two nagging people. They keep berating and nagging me everyday. What do they think they are, my mother? FINE WEST I'LL WALK THOSE DOGS AFTER LUNCH!

Speaking of lunch, I'm hungry now. Gonna go heat something up in the microwave.

**Posted by: Prussia**

* * *

><p><strong>Subject: Hopeful.<strong>

Can I join you, Prussia?

**Posted by: Spain**

* * *

><p><strong>Subject: HMMMMMMM<strong>

Spain, you're in a meeting now. I won't suggest running out just to have lunch with that... basement dweller. Germany will not approve.

**Posted by: Austria**

* * *

><p><strong>Subject: Yes.<strong>

I will not approve, Spain.

**Posted by: Germany**

* * *

><p><strong>Subject: LIKE, WHOA!<strong>

I never knew putting a metal spoon into a microwave together with the peanut butter jar makes them blow up!

By the way West, do you happen to know where the fire extinguisher is? I kinda urgently need it right now.

**Posted by: Prussia**

* * *

><p><strong>Subject: BROTHER!<strong>

What did you do know? Who in their right mind would put a spoon together with the peanut butter jar into a microwave just to watch it explode?

Wait right there. I'm coming home now. If I told you where the fire extinguisher was, you'll put it into the microwave too just to watch it blow up.

**Posted by: Germany**

* * *

><p><strong>Subject: ?<strong>

Germany ran out of the meeting like his ass was on fire. I wonder what happened.

**Posted by: America**

* * *

><p><strong>Subject: Oh<strong>

OK I just read all the above posts. Jeez Prussia, thanks for that idea! I'll do the same thing to Iggy's microwave tomorrow!

**Posted by: America**

* * *

><p><strong>Subject: WANKER<strong>

Don't you dare. And it's not 'Iggy', it's 'England', you GIT.

**Posted by: England**

* * *

><p><strong>Subject: Damnit<strong>

West grounded me. For one whole f***ing week. And he took the laptop away, plus he locked the refrigerator so I can't sneak beer cans from it. Good thing the awesome me has a stash of beer under my bed, and I managed to swipe his iPhone from his pocket when he was trying to put out the fire in the microwave.

I kinda regret putting the peanut butter into the microwave now. I liked peanut butter.

**Posted by: Prussia**

* * *

><p><strong>Subject: Hey Prussia!<strong>

You're totally spamming up the blog with all your posts! And for your information, our bosses can read it if they want, yo! And that includes the exploding-spoon-and-peanut-butter-in-the-microwave thing that just happened!

**Posted by: America**

* * *

><p><strong>Subject: HAHA<strong>

Too bad for you guys. The awesome me has no boss to read all his awesome posts on this blog.

**Posted by: Prussia**

* * *

><p><em><strong>...I never realised how much fun it was writing Prussia until now, since I mostly write about England, and he always acts like he has a stick up his ass. Random much?<strong>_

_**Review and tell me if you liked it or not! If not, I'll just delete it and we'll pretend this cracky story never existed, OK?**_


	2. Chapter 2

_A/N So.. I have decided to continue with this crack fic. Hmmm._

* * *

><p>Chapter 2<p>

**Subject: ATTENTION**

I added a new feature to the blog, guys! We can IM (that's short for instant message to all old geezers out there) each other now!

I'll be working on adding a function that allows us to have personal blogs soon! Well, I'll start after I finish playing Skyrim first.

**Posted by: America**

* * *

><p><strong>Subject: That's nice<strong>

Are you the admin here, brother?

**Posted by: Canada**

* * *

><p><strong>Subject: ?<strong>

Who're you again?

**Posted by: America**

* * *

><p><strong>MapleSyrup<strong>: I'm your brother, Canada...

**TheAwesomeHero**: …..oh yeah! The guy with the pancakes and the glasses!

**MapleSyrup**: ...sometimes I really wonder if I'm related to you...

**TheAwesomeHero**: Uh-huh. Talk 2 you later, bro! I've got a video game and Tony waiting for me!

* * *

><p><strong>Subject: PASTA~<strong>

This blog set up by America is really amazing. Now I can post everything I know about Germany so that everyone won't be scared of him all the time~

**Posted by: Italy Veneziano**

* * *

><p><strong>Subject: PFFT<strong>

Go on, Italy. I'll be waiting for it.

**Posted by: Prussia**

* * *

><p><strong>Subject: Seconded<strong>

Yes, please do so, Ita-chan. I'll be eagerly waiting for it.

**Posted by: Hungary**

* * *

><p><strong>Subject: Eh<strong>

I thought you were banned from the laptop for a week, Prussia? Germany said he confiscated it from you.

**Posted by: Italy Veneziano**

* * *

><p><strong>Subject: I am Awesome<strong>

I managed to swipe West's phone from him. That poor little brother of mine had no idea his phone is MIA.

By the way, Italy, can you do me a favour? Run to the nearest convenience store and get me a six pack of beer, will ya? The awesome me is kinda running out of beer, and West is still not letting me out of the house nor let me near his refrigerator.

**Posted by: Prussia**

* * *

><p><strong>DogLover<strong>: PRUSSIA. YOU'RE THERE AREN'T YOU?

**GilbirdsRox**: Oh crap, West, is that you?

**DogLover**: You bet it is. Return my phone to me.

**GilbirdsRox**: You give me the laptop first.

**DogLover**: Never.

**GilbirdsRox**: Then I'm keeping the phone.

**DogLover**: I'm coming down to the basement now, brother.

* * *

><p><strong>Subject: Oh f***<strong>

It's midnight now, and I'm sneaking on West's computer while he's busy snoring away.

That idiot took the phone away! Now I can't post that much on the blog. Grr.

I hate my life.

**Posted by: Prussia**

* * *

><p><strong>Subject: Shit.<strong>

I tripped on one of West's dogs on my way to the refrigerator. It's barking at me now. I'm screwed.

Time to make a quick getaway move.

**Posted by: Prussia**

* * *

><p><strong>Subject: Urgh<strong>

Why does my brother insist on giving me trouble every single day? First with that microwave incident, and now the fact that he fell down flat on his face in the kitchen when he accidentally woke up one of the dogs and tried to run away.

Yes, he broke his nose.

And now he's pounding on the basement ceiling (which is the floor I'm currently walking on), whining for beer.

Gott, I'm going to go insane one day.

**Posted by: Germany**

* * *

><p><strong>Subject: AWWW<strong>

Sorry to hear about Prussia. Can we visit him?

**Posted by: France and Spain**

* * *

><p><strong>Subject: Hmph<strong>

We'll see.

**Posted by: Germany**

* * *

><p><strong>Subject: FML<strong>

I broke my nose. Yes, the awesome me had his nose broken.

Urgh, just when I though life couldn't get any worse.

One good thing though: West let me have the laptop. Maybe he got tired of me constantly pounding on the basement ceiling with a metal pipe, yelling for beer.

**Posted by: Prussia**

* * *

><p><strong>IHeartTomatoe<strong>s: Hey Prussia, you're online now right?

**GilbirdsRox**: Is that you, Spain?

**RosesAndWine**: I'm here too Prussia~

**GilbirdsRox**: What do you guys want?

**IHeartTomatoes**: I was thinking of ways to cheer you op. How about we go out for a drink tonight?

**GilbirdsRox**: Three problems with that idea, Spain. One, I'm broke. Two, my nose is just as equally broke. Three, West is never gonna let me out.

**RosesAndWine**: We'll just go over and convince him about it tomorrow.

**GilbirdsRox**: Good luck with that.

**IHeartTomatoes**: Thanks!

* * *

><p><strong>Subject: I'm going to regret this later.<strong>

Spain and France came over to the house just now, asking for my permission to bring Prussia out for a few drinks. Since they were being so annoying, I had no choice but to let him go.

And he demanded for cash too. The nerve of that- nevermind.

I can still hear Prussia snickering when he left the house. Hmph.

But it did help that he looked a little ridiculous with that huge bandage on his nose.

I just hope he doesn't comes back stone drunk.

...I'm hoping too much. That's not like me.

**Posted by: Germany**

* * *

><p><strong>Subject: ASDFGHJQWTYUI<strong>

GaWD, Tat wUz SooOOooo fUN QWQUOEJWI

E' hope Eeee kan goes out wit' 'em AgAin ASNWQKLDN

**Posted by: Prussia**

* * *

><p><em>Reviews please? :D More reviews= Faster updates!<em>


	3. Chapter 3

_Thank you so much to all those kind people who reviewed! ;_ ; Even if you did not review and are reading this, you are still awesome. You each deserve a huge chocolate chip cookie._

* * *

><p>Chapter 3<p>

**Subject: ATTENTION AGAIN GUYS**

You can now post personal blogs! All those name-calling, bitching and mud-slinging? Yeah, put it on your personal blog, not the general one. Have to keep up a clean image, you know.

Man, I hate being the moderator, always having to clean up all the crappy posts.

I'm looking at ya, Prussia.

**Posted by: America**

* * *

><p><em><strong>The Awesome Me Blog<strong>_

**Prussia**

Sweet, a personal blog now? Hate to say this on my first awesome entry, but America's pretty good at these kind of stuff. Not that I'm not awesome, but I generally try to avoid all those programming crap.

Urgh, I still have a killer of a hangover. I don't wanna say it 'cos I know you're gonna read this West, but I think I might have drank too much yesterday with Antonio and Francis.

And my nose is killing me.

Nope, this is definitely not an awesome day.

* * *

><p><strong>Comments:<strong>

Serves you right, brother. I told you to rest.

_Germany_

Aw, shut it, West. I have a headache now.

_Prussia_

I feel a little dizzy too aysdihfdai

_Spain_

Qsiuniwlfdndwqfd

_France_

Really now, you guys...

_Germany_

* * *

><p><strong>Subject: Well now<strong>

I see that this 'blog' idea has really caught on. Even France is keeping up with it. I am surprised.

Posted by: England

* * *

><p><strong>Subject: Dude<strong>

You're just way too old to catch up with this amazing idea of mine. Actually, no, France is even older than you and he's still keeping up. At least he knows all his keys on the keyboard.

It's just your over inflated pride that's keeping you from mastering technology, Iggy! ;D

**Posted by: America**

* * *

><p><strong>Subject: Grrr<strong>

I do NOT have an over inflated ego, twit.

**Posted by: England**

* * *

><p><em><strong>The Musings of a British Gentleman<strong>_

**England**

I guess I'll be using this as a journal in the future. Of course, I still prefer putting pen to paper, but this is to prove to that obnoxious Yankee that I do NOT have an over inflated ego, and am not too old to master technology. Who's he to talk anyway regarding an over inflated ego?

Speaking of America, that git tried to put the silver tea set that has been in my possessions since the 1800s into the microwave today. Yes, he tried to copy Prussia. It was a good thing that I managed to catch him in time, if not... I shudder to think of the consequences.

I will be keeping a careful watch on my microwave from now on.

* * *

><p><strong>Comments:<strong>

Whoa, chill man! You're taking this way too seriously!

_America_

Piss off, wanker. I do not want to see any new comments by you.

_England_

Great job there, America! Pity he caught you though.

_Prussia_

Don't encourage him, Prussia. This is entirely your fault in the first place.

_England_

Someone's in a bad mood.

_Prussia_

IKR?

_America_

Shut up, both of you. And what the bloody hell is 'IKR'?

_England_

Not telling ya, old man. Go Google it.

_America_

* * *

><p><strong>Subject: ALL HAIL THE AWESOME PRANKSTER (WHICH IS ME OF COURSE)<strong>

Ever since America tried my microwave trick, I've been thinking a lot. What if other people tried to copy my awesome trick? Well, I don't really mind! And if you wanna ask me how I did it, don't hesitate in asking the awesome me for advice!

**Posted by: Prussia**

* * *

><p><strong>Subject: Question!<strong>

If you put Chinese pottery into the over, does it blow up or just melt?

**Posted by: South Korea**

* * *

><p><strong>Subject: RE: Question!<strong>

Not sure 'bout that. Let me go test it out first. I'll tell you the results later, kid.

**Posted by: Prussia**

* * *

><p><em><strong>The Memoir of a Dog Lover<strong>_

**Germany**

Gott, I _am_ going insane.

I just caught Prussia trying to set the tableware on fire with a lighter and alcohol. He swore that he was just testing something, but does it looks like I believe him? No.

One day, he's going to set my house on fire.

Note to self: Keep away all matches and lighters.

* * *

><p><strong>Comments:<strong>

Do you want me to knock some sense into him? I can come over to your house now~

_Russia_

HOLY CRAP WEST, RUSSIA COMMENTED ON YOUR BLOG. And I was really trying to test something out then! Serious, West! So don't let Russia come into the house, please?

_Prussia_

...Russia, I don't think it'll really be necessary to come over just to knock some sense into Prussia... he's too far gone for that.

_Germany_

Thanks a bunch, West. I owe you one. Even though you just had to make an unawesome comment about me.

_Prussia_

Ah, that is a pity, comrade Germany... I really did want to come over to see you and your brother, even though he is as just annoying as my younger sister and I would really like nothing than to throw him into the same room with her.

_Russia_

You just have to shoot me down everywhere I go, huh? Asshole.

_Prussia_

* * *

><p><strong>Subject: Ah<strong>

I am rather enjoying this blog, America. I think I will make my former comrades join in too.

**Posted by: Russia**

* * *

><p><strong>Subject: RE: Ah<strong>

Er, glad you like it man.

And you don't really need to force your buddies to use the blog if they don't want to y'know...

**Posted by: America**

* * *

><p><strong>GilbirdsRox<strong>: Hey, Korea?

**IAmTheOrigin**: Yes?

**GilbirdsRox**: Chinese pottery is very resistant against heat. You might wanna try something else instead.

**IAmTheOrigin**: Aw... Nvm, I'll try a new idea instead. Hmm, if you put a panda into a oven, will it taste good?

**GilbirdsRox**: …...I don't know.

* * *

><p><strong>Subject: Big brother...<strong>

I shall follow your every movement...wherever you go I will follow... including cyberspace.

You won't escape, big brother...

**Posted by: Belarus**

* * *

><p><em><strong>The Sunflower In Me<strong>_

**Russia**

My sister is getting creepy.

Well, creepier than usual.

She is stalking whatever I do online. Hm, is this blog blocked from her? Ah, yes.

I am getting desperate. How do you get rid of a stalker who is also your sister?

* * *

><p><strong>Comments:<strong>

Slit her throat and dump her body into a well?

_Prussia_

Poison?

_England_

Use _Angleterre_'s food?

France

Shut up, frog.

_England_

* * *

><p><em>Yeah, I know this story really has no direction at the moment, but rest assured it does has something which can be loosely called a 'plot'. <em>

_Since Valentine's Day is coming up soon, expect something special in the next few chapters. Maybe some pairing tease or an attempt by someone to woo another out for a date. And since I don't have any specific pairings I like... expect me to jump all over the place with pairings. Unless you as the reader want something specific...? But just a fair warning: I'll be starting with the popular ones first. Like USUK (That's gonna show up in the next chapter). Or maybe GerIta. Or Spamano. Or FrUK. Or AsaKiku. Or RusAme. Or DenNor. Or SuFin. Or...OK I'll make up my mind later._

_Reviews make me happier and less trigger happy in shooting down pairings~ Yeah, I know, I'm a sadistic person. Since I don't have a specific pairing I like, I _will_ sink some pairings depending on how the story goes. /runs away from raging fangirls_


	4. Chapter 4

_A/N- All your reviews are love! ;_; I'll try to write and post up your pairing requests soon. B-b-but I'm not really used to writing romance... so please be patient? Please? Q_Q_

_Warning, there be slight USUK in this chapter. _

…_.what? Why do you look so tense? Don't worry, there are no shooting nor sinking of pairings in this chapter. I'm not_ that_ cruel._

* * *

><p>Chapter 4<p>

_**The Diary of a Hero**_

**America**

It's snowing really heavily today. Blergh. Looks like I'm stuck in the house for now. All I have is Tony, the game console and my laptop. Guess it's time to start using my blog more often.

I finished Skyrim already. Can anyone recommend any other good games to play?

* * *

><p><strong>Comments:<strong>

I really don't know...

_England_

Call of Duty? That's awesome.

_Prussia_

You can try deer-hunter~

_Russia_

* * *

><p><strong>Subject: TEST<strong>

Testing 1,2,3.

**Posted by: Tony**

* * *

><p><strong>Subject: Bloody hell<strong>

America, the alien just posted something! What are you letting him do?

**Posted by: England**

* * *

><p><strong>Subject: Eh<strong>

Tony does has his own laptop, Iggy. I gave it to him a few years back as a gift.

**Posted by: America**

* * *

><p><strong>Subject: Hey<strong>

F*** you, f***ing limey.

**Posted by: Tony**

* * *

><p><strong>BritishGentleman<strong>: AMERICA.

**TheAwesomeHero**: LOL wut now Iggy?

**BritishGentleman**: Did you read that last post by you _dear_ pet alien?

**TheAwesomeHero**: Nope, I didn't. Wait a min. I'll go check it out.

**TheAwesomeHero**: WHOA TONY U ROCK MAN.

**BritishGentleman**: USE PROPER SPELLING AND GRAMMAR, GIT!

**TheAwesomeHero**: It's chatspeak, old man. Nothing wrong with it.

**BritishGentleman**: Don't go off topic, fool! Ask that alien to delete that post of his this instance!

**TheAwesomeHero**: Geez, whatever, Iggy.

* * *

><p><strong>Subject: F***ing Limey<strong>

Not gonna delete anything. Kiss my ass.

**Posted by: Tony**

* * *

><p><strong>TheAwesomeHero<strong>: Well, I did try, Iggy.

**BritishGentleman**: Why that little imbecile- Two can play the game then.

**TheAwesomeHero**: Huh? What game do you wanna play with Tony? Destroy All Humans 2? ;D

**BritishGentleman**: ...not that type of game, idiot.

* * *

><p><strong>Subject: -<strong>

F*** you, limey.

**Posted by: Tony**

* * *

><p><strong>Subject: AMERICA<strong>

Cam you control your alien? He is really starting to get on my nerves. I cannot log on without a "F*** you, limey" greeting me in the face every time I look at the screen.

**Posted by: England**

* * *

><p><strong>Subject: New greeting<strong>

F*** you, eyebrowed limey.

**Posted by: Tony**

* * *

><p><strong>Subject: AMERICA<strong>

ARE YOU READING THIS?

IF YOU ARE, KINDLY ASK THAT ALIEN OF YOURS TO DELETE ALL HIS POSTS THAT HAS "F*** YOU LIMEY" IN THEM. OR EVEN BETTER, YOU DELETE THEM. YOU'RE A BLOODY MODERATOR, AREN'T YOU?

**Posted by: England**

* * *

><p><strong>TheAwesomeHero<strong>: Iggy, you there?

**BritishGentleman**: What do you want?

**TheAwesomeHero**: Uh, I have been trying to delete Tony's posts, but I can't.

**BritishGentleman**: WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU CAN'T?

**TheAwesomeHero**: Hey, don't caps lock me! I just can't delete them, ok!

**BritishGentleman**: Pray, do tell me the reason why. I am VERY interested in hearing your excuse.

**TheAwesomeHero**: Tony hacked into my account and made himself a moderator. A mod can't delete another mod's posts.

**BritishGentleman**: WHAT?

_**(CousinOfSteve has signed in)**_

**TheAwesomeHero**: Tony? Is that you, dude?

**CousinOfSteve**: Testing 1, 2, 3.

**BritishGentleman**: Why you (_this word has been censored by the blog due to the consideration of other readers present_) grey alien! What in the name of the queen are you doing on the chat?

**CousinOfSteve**: F*** you, limey.

**BritishGentleman**: That's it. I'm coming over right now to punch you in the face.

**CousinOfSteve**: Valentine's Day. Valentine's Day. Valentine's Day. Valentine's Day.

**TheAwesomeHero**: Huh? What?

**BritishGentleman**: What does Valentine's Day has to do with our grudge match?

**CousinOfSteve**: You like him. He like you. He think about you, You think about him. Smoochy smooch.

**BritishGentleman**: What are you trying to imply- WAIT WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT? QULIEIQNDLQNDILQNOIPQDNQ

**TheAwesomeHero**: Are you saying that I like Iggy, Tony? Hey, how did you find out?

**CousinOfSteve**: Kissy wissy. You kiss his photo every day. Every night. Mwah mwah. Valentine's Day.

**BritishGentleman**: BOLLOCKS! ASJUNADKLKQWERTYUIO

**TheAwesomeHero**: Wait a sec, Tony. Lemme figure this out. Are you suggesting that Iggy and me go out for Valentine's Day? Is that it?

**BritishGentleman**: QWQWERTYUIOPAQKJDKLNDLK

**CousinOfSteve**: Mwah mwah. Valentine's Day. Kissy the girly.

**TheAwesomeHero**: OK! Haha, great idea there, Tony! You rock dude! Hey Iggy! Wanna go out together for Valentine's Day?

_**(BritishGentleman has signed out)**_

**TheAwesomeHero**: Ah.

**CousinOfSteve**: Kissy the girly. Mwah mwah. Valentine's Day.

* * *

><p><em><strong>The Musings of a British Gentleman<strong>_

**England**

I can't believe it.

I will now take a moment to yell this to the sky...

WHY ME?

What have I ever done to get an irritating freak from outer space to bother me whenever I go online? Does Fate hates me?

It said I liked America. Yes, it really did say that.

And it tried to set me up on a date with America. On Valentine's Day. Yes, France, I can hear your laughing. Shut up, frog.

Bloody hell... no way I am going out with that Yank on Valentine's Day. I have better things to do than entertain him and his crazy antics. He'll drive me up the wall and over it, that much is certain.

But... I do like America. As a brother, of course. Albeit a irritating and rather good looking younger brother. It's nothing more than that. Yes, nothing at all.

...but I just can't help but feel that there's something else... some other feeling... that feeling that you just want to punch a certain someone because he's irritating the living daylights out of you but you don't want to, because you... you're scared of losing him... wait, what kind of feeling is that supposed to be?

No, my head isn't clear now.

Ignore my ramblings, please.

* * *

><p><strong>Comments:<strong>

Something is clearly wrong with you, my friend.

_France_

Aww Iggy! Why don't you wanna go out with meeee?

_America_

Just because.

_England_

That is not a valid reason, _Anglettere_. You are a (supposed) gentleman. If you want to turn your boyfriend down, you must give a good reason to him. Or else, you're just being plain rude. As usual.

_France_

America. Is. Not. My. Boyfriend.

_England_

Iggy~ I know you want to take me out on Valentine's Day~

_America_

Sod off, twit. I am in no mood to reply your dumb comments.

_England_

Kiss me 'till you're drunk and I'll show you all the moves like jagger~

_America_

...drunk? Hey, I think I'm on to something here...

_America_

* * *

><p><strong>Subject: Yo guys!<strong>

After the meeting today, let's go out for a drink, OK?

**Posted by: America**

* * *

><p><strong>Subject: Hmmm<strong>

You're planning something for _Anglettere_, aren't you?

**Posted by: France**

* * *

><p><strong>Subject: RE: Hmmm<strong>

Even if I was planning something, he wouldn't know! He never checks the general blog after what Tony did to him, hahaha!

**Posted by: America**

* * *

><p><em><strong>The Musings of a British Gentleman<strong>_

**England**

Great. To use America's own version of butchered English, I'm screwed. Yes, I just used American English. No, I don't give a damn now. But I'll regret it later, I suppose.

I accepted the git's offer. About going out on Valentine's Day. No, not that whole "let's-build-a-giant-superhero-to-save-the-world-from-global-warming" thing.

Again, I shall shout this out to the heavens.

WHY ME?

What's the matter, you ask? Kindly allow me to summarise what happened.

Yesterday, after we had our world meeting, America invited me for a drink along with a few others. To be honest, I didn't suspect anything at first. I just thought that he was being his usual generous but dumb self.

Little did I know the devious plan that was spinning away in his usually empty head.

So, we started drinking at a nearby pub. I tried to abstain (yes, France, unlike what you say, I do know my limits) but that brat kept calling for more and more drinks. Naturally, being the gentleman I was, I couldn't refuse the drinks.

Sad to say, I couldn't remember much after the twelfth shot of whiskey. When my mind was clear again, I was lying with my shirt off on a sofa in America's living room. There was a wet cloth pressed against my forehead, and my mind was foggy.

As I tried to rise from the sofa, America skipped in, whistling loudly to himself. I must've drank too much, because I couldn't get up at all and my body was weak. America, having noticed that I was awake, came over and leaned over me, his eyes sparkling with unseen mirth. He then asked me if I had remembered the promise I'd apparently made last night in the pub to him.

"No." I'd replied. My mind was in a mess. Could you really blame me for the incredulous look that I'd gave him then?

Seeing my bewildered expression, he proceeded to gleefully tell me what I'd promised him last night.

Last night in the pub, after a few hours of heavy drinking had passed, he'd asked me again if I could accompany him on a date on Valentine's Day. If I'd had half my mind with me then, I would have definitely turned him down straight away. But as it was (based on what Spain has told me later), I'd slopped half my glass of whiskey down my best shirt before throwing my head back and laughing insanely.

Then, I had apparently clambered onto the counter of the bar, unbuttoned my shirt and shouted out to the entire pub my answer. To quote America on what I had said: "What're yer talking 'bout, America? Of course I'll go with ya! And I'll be the best damn date you'll ever have in yer entire life, honey!" Needless to say, someone recorded that entire embarrassing incident, and it has gone viral on this video sharing website they call... _Youtube_, was it?

…someone please kill me now.

* * *

><p><strong>Comments:<strong>

Oh, I knew you'd eventually accept America's offer, _Anglettere_~!

_France_

I'll be looking forward to Valentine's Day, _honey_! ;D

_America_

WANKERS. Stop commenting on my personal blog. Don't make me block you.

_England_

I knew you two were together! Congratsz, England & America! :D

_Spain_

BWAHAHAHAHA NICE ONE ! THUMBS UP!

_Prussia_

But... I was going to ask America about Valentine's Day... Kolkolkol...

_Russia_

Is this really true, England-_san_?

_Japan_

Great going, old man. At least I can rest easier knowing you won't be so love deprived this year, unlike the last few years.

_Hong Kong_

That's IT. I am going to disable the comments function on my personal blog.

_England_

* * *

><p><em>Dum dee dum, so how will their date turn out...?<em>

_Meh, I'm not really used to writing this type of genre (I usually deal with mystery, action and suspense. Yes, very dramatic.), so bear with me as I ploughed through it, OK?_

_For those who don't get why Tony's name is CousinOfSteve, go to Youtube, type in "HetaOni" into the search bar, then start watching the first episode. Don't watch though if you don't like character death and horror. You have been warned._

_Reviews make me less inclined in killing off USUK. LOL, just kidding. (But I am seriously thinking of how to insert in FrUK. Hmmm~~)_


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